Salt in the wounds... - Suzuki Volusia Forums : Intruder Volusia and Boulevard Forum
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 03:36 PM Thread Starter
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Salt in the wounds...

My sister's fiancé passed away last Friday.

He was older, his children are all grown, and his divorce was relatively recent, having been finalized back in late 2010 or early 2011. He had been marred for a little over 31 years. The divorce was his decision and one he had been asking for for several years.

He and my sister had known each other for almost 14 years, but had only started dating this past summer, she had nothing to do with his divorce. When he was sick the fall, she was the one who took care of him, changed his IV's, helped him get back on his feet. His 5 children didn't help. His ex-wife didn't help. When he had a stroke and went to the hospital last Monday, it was my sister who came and sat by his side 24/7...none of his family showed up until Thursday...even though they'd all been notified.

After all that, she didn't get mentioned in his obituary...the obituary actually says he is survived by his wife of 34 years, even though they are divorced.

It's so upsetting to see the loss of a loved one bring out the worst in people. I realize that his children and ex-wife didn't want the divorce to happen in the first place...but it did. For them to just completely shut her out like that is cold in a way that makes me burn with anger.

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 03:39 PM
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 04:43 PM
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Chad, I'm so sorry to hear of yet another loss within your family. From reading your prior "Blog's", I'm certain that your faith will help you through these times. Your sister is fortunate to have someone like you, to help her now.
Prayers sent from Canada, and all your VR friends.

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 05:06 PM
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sorry chad...hope your sister gets thru this the best she is able to.

Whats the big hurry...slow down and enjoy the ride!

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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 06:00 PM
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It's sad and painful, but this kind of thing happens often in families where the separation is resented by the survivors.

I hope your sister finds comfort in the fact that she did the right things, the good and kind and loving things. We're taught that God sees, when everyone else is blind, and He will reward her.

She's an example of what commitment to love somebody else really means.


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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 07:35 PM
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Death brings out such nasty things, doesn't it? We people can be so mean to each other. Thankfully, we know that Jesus knows our hearts. He understands our we paste an "I'm fine" smile on our face, and the words "oh, it's okay" roll of our tongues as we try to help those around us feel okay themselves.

I'll be praying for your sister as she grieves her loss.

There's so much pain in this world.

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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 07:43 PM
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Just remember NO ONE can take what is in your heart. You and your family are kind hearted people. You can only live with with they have done. I lost a 19 year old son 3 years ago and was going to bring his ashes back home to Iowa agreeded by my xwife and to this day he is still in Texas in her house. She thinks by doing this she is hurting me by doing this. I will keep your family in my thouhgt and prayerss
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 09:05 PM
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IMHO, there simply are a lot of people out there who suck....

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-27-2012, 09:29 PM
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My sympathy for your sister. The most important thing is that she knows that he loved her.

When my Mom died, we had to list my niece, whom my Mother raised, as a daughter (which she really was). The newspaper would not list grandchildren in the standard obit. This really ticked off my sister (nieces mother)

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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-28-2012, 12:15 AM
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Hope I explain this right.

I was at a funeral where the mom had passed away. The mom and dad were divorce. The kids were all there, everyone was there 2-250 people. The dad was not even given credit for being the kids dad by the preacher. I don't know the in's and out's of that one and I don't want to. All I know is totally changed how I felt about this family. Nothing but disrespect IMO.

There is a saying, "The more people I meet, the better I like my dog." Sadly, sometimes I feel this way, but I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. Death is tragic and I think at times like that, people just don't think straight. If they are thinking straight ............. they'll have to live with it.

All good things for your sis!

"Men are like steel, when they lose their temper, they lose their worth." Chuck Norris
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